you used to be aslan

So is it normal to mellow as we age or is that just an excuse?

i have been pondering this thought whilst negotiating the rain sodden motorway drive home from the UCA National Youthworkers Inservice. As always the best of the event was catching up with people...

...and then the shocker comment of the week "wow we really have domesticated you...you used to be Aslan"...and i thought i was learning to discern the battles that could be usefully fought.

and the deeper seated fear, does travelling the modernist linear pathways of worship on a weekly basis make you less able to contemplate a more organic experience? does doing it "by the book" so to speak actually kill your creativity...is that the lack of aslan in my life? cos everyone knows you can't swim in the river without changing the water and yourself...there is no neutral observer position in leading worship

(and i miss the best part of the week - worship on friday because of that domestication which seems to be turning out to be all for nought)

Worship Trick 1 - A cloud of witnesses

It's the Uniting Church in Australia's 28th birthday this week. one of the reasons for getting into blogging was jonny's worship tricks so here's my first.

We're having a combined service on Sunday... so to add a bit of excitement to a "normal" church we're trying the following Mind you at midnight last night I was sure of the artistic merits but frustrated by the technical aspects - thank goodness for Kaz and Glenn.

We have a pulley system with a outlet in the roof about 2/3rd up the aisle (for raising and lowering the christmas star and cross at easter) . I attached 16m of bird netting (from hardware shops) from the rope to the top of the organ speakers (top back in a sort of verandah arragement).

As part of worship everyone will have slips of coloured paper on which to write names of people who have been witnesses to them, during worship - the passing of the peace sort of bit - we'll lower the birdnet "cloud" and invite people to weave their witnesses into it. Then we'll read Hebrews 12:1-4 and pull the cloud back up again - and stretch it across the sides to sort of cover the congregation.

so - surrounded by a cloud of witnesses

Also most of the groups associated with the congregation have made ohts and they're stuck on the windows to make temporary stained glass...and as part of the sending out i'm going to get people to turn the ohts around to face out instead of in

watch this space to see if it worked :-)

Marking Merriment

As the final week at TAFE lurches on and the marking pile becomes a tower, couldn't help but note the following from a communication skills test...

Q: Define paraphrasing.
A: Paraphrasing is regurgitating someone else's words...

Naming Rites

Avoiding sermon prep, an interesting insight in the Feminist Companion to Genesis. Some ideas in this volume seem a bit far-fetched but one that really did jump out at me was the following.

We all know the patricarchal structure of Genesis and the Abramic stories...yet when you look closely there is an incredible amount of matriarchal naming going on in Genesis. When we'd expect that the development of the patriarchal lineage and the blessing to be spoken and passed down clearly from Abraham - it turns out to be Sarah who names Issac. Considering I'm looking at the whole Hagar and Ishmael vs Sarah and Issac situation in the service. it struck me the power of the naming by Sarah of Issac - he is named for her laughter.

Anyway it got me thinking about the power of naming. My house has been blessed by two visits from the other Jeramie this week. His calls of "auntie del, auntie del" have replaced the earlier wordless squeels and have lightened the house. I smiled, it was the name I selected for myself for the first Jem to use when he was that age. But it wasn't to be ... he named me all by himself - and so Larli came to be. As that Jem explained to his preschool teacher: "no, that no my auntie, that my larli"

It seems we spend so much time discovering our identity but we don't generally get to name ourselves at all. We are named by our relationships and if, like me, we're really lucky the name reflects something unique. A moment from time that gets packed into our identity and carried forward with us.

Issac - laughter - you could have done much worse!

Those quiz things!

I first saw Maggi talking about this - the one she linked was about theologians. In which case I turned out to be a follower of Paul Tillich.

But I did this one just cos Darren did!

Does this sound like me?
You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.
Emergent/Postmodern 93%
Neo orthodox 61%
Classical Liberal 57%
Modern Liberal 54%
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 43%
Charismatic/Pentecostal 36%
Roman Catholic 29%
Reformed Evangelical 18%
Fundamentalist 7%

What's your theological worldview quiz

Truly Awful Rant

I was reminded again of the lulling effect of "belonging" and how it dulls one's awareness of how truly bad the situation is.

We had a visitor to the service last night - all 6 of us - the poor bastard. His questions at the end were so gentle but I squirmed and wanted to run away so fast you won't see me for the dust. Did we have a liturgy we had to follow? And he noticed the service was described as contemporary? (of course it isn't) It is a traditional methodist gospel service with a few 80s choruses and a data projector. It isn't even contemporary or informal or modern let along saomething relevant or post modern - this despite the nice enough group of people who comprise it.

At what stage we we need to pull the plug on things like that that are so embarassing? who has the authority to do this? It is perhaps a clear indicator of the death throes that are currently being experienced.

Oh dear

The real reality

There is so much creativity and passion and risk in alt.worship and emerging thinking on other blogs that it's scary just to say the ideas I snitch from others and the delight I find in leading worship at church.

Perhaps this dissonance is actually the reason for this blog - do I have the guts to speak...as a non-ordained minister not doing 'traditionally emerging' stuff? as a not traditionally qualified tafe teacher who delights in her students? as a not family defined thirty something family focusser?

And then today I have listened to professional broadcasters voice's crack with emotion of the loss of a voice on the radio who many (especially Mum & Paul) named as friend. and thought what people have most responded to was the gentleman and the generosity of spirit and wisdom they were offered - they were talking about Les, one of the weekend woodies.

it's in the offering of ourselves that the spirit is conveyed and the meaning is found - so the new day's resolution is just to say it!

Dad's Update

My dear Dad is currently in my beloved England
There is no postcard yet...but just prior to his departure he sent my sister-in-law and i the following instructions:-

"Look after the country until we get back."

So Dad I thought I'd post you an update.
Dear Dad
In my attempts to run the country I'm being hampered by a Mr Howard who is determined to rid Australia of its current industrial relations system. So yesterday I had no cash to run this part of the country because we had to go on strike to keep our TAFE AWA free - I mean part time casual teachers have few enough conditions anyway! And it seems that Uni's funding is now being tied to them getting staff to take up AWAs - because they too are swimming in cash...it's so bad that even the SMH noticed and ran an article on Saturday in My Career.

The country sent itself into a frenzy about the Corby verdict...the media were awash with emotion and have since replayed the whole thing several times.

Graham Kennedy - the man you usen't to let us watch on TV died - so you don't need to worry about that any more.

Diane, the nice lady i sit next to at the ACO was interviewed in Spectrum about her new book - following in the family tradition I have clipped this from the paper for you to read.

The market has gone up and down again - but the RBA didn't increase interest rates - yeah!

The brothers have been silent which I construe to mean working hard - I certainly have...but haven't finished my Uni essays yet (I'm writing this instead :-))

The weather has been shockingly cold though we haven't had a frost yet and the roses have continued to bloom magnificently.

Look forward to you coming home with photos Dad.

winter's here

heater's burning it's summer dust
ugghies excavated from beneath the bed
furry blue hot water bottle is OHS checked
certified unleaking - and foot warming
oven door yet to be opened during breakfast sprint
(maybe tomorrow)
and the temperature is dropping
dropping ... poor roses
time to throw off the last of your petals
and retire till the spring

oops and the dinner's burning

(Some) Stzbility Regained

the theme of fraudulence has echoed through my week, haunted my monopoly playing with the high school students, coloured my phone calls with friends and even cast its shadow over the first crawling demonstration of a baby.

Twas as exceptional question - the real emotional impact behind the question asked of me on the weekend was about the purpose of what I do....yes, i have realised I am a long way from my ideal of me..no, I am not doing all that i would like to be doing..and, harder to admit, that which i did unknowingly and freely before has been constrained and distorted by my own fear of failure...and fear of not matching up to the other blogs (and lives) i read.

but it doesn't make it worthless..a sage reminded me that i am yet an apprentice in the meaning pulling world - and judging my actions in terms of skills will always find me short; devaluing the soldiers of faith who are the churches heritage doesn't honour either them or me; and thinking that i have to have done it all will stop me from trying

and even more importantly the analogy that my weekend brunch companion and i were could be perceived to be in a very similar place on the map - in the borders around it with the dragons - but that we were facing in different directions which is what made it sound the same but feel so different

so for now i am soothed but not satisfied
as always the prophetic reminds us
of both the now and the not yet
and prompts remorse and action