Blue moons and grace

Tonight the moon is full - it is darting behind the skeleton of the liquid amber out the study window. I want for it to be to me a reminder of this resolution.

I want to choose to be gracious...to quarantine the angry "what about me" part of my psyche to live like the moon is bright white and rounded not yet turning in on itself...i want to live like that...live in a way that gives out rather than being crippled by fear about my own future.

I don't know if it's possible, i mean, can you really choose grace or does it choose you? I took this role using my thinking aware of what i wanted to learn...perhaps even on the eve of the beginning this is a reminder that we don't always grt to choose what we learn but learning involves a posture towards the unknown and always changing that is open hearted and handed.

I see this also in Elisha who had to take up the cloak that mysteriously floated down from the flames of the receding Elijah chariot - this is the cloak that i now take up....and i learn from elisha that it doesn't always take the first time either.